The lynching of Andrew Nelson

Taken from the "Hidden Arsenal"

Originally written:  September 17, 2010

Before we begin let me get the 

introductions out of the way.

Meet Andrew Nelson

He is a family friend.

(Maybe a little too friendly with my niece?)

He's a teammate

to my boys.

Sometimes he's funny.
Sometimes we could kill him.
But mostly, we love him.

Now, meet Cowboy Football...

It's a priority around here.

Some say too much of a  priority.

I disagree.

It runs our lives this time of year

and I think that's just fine.

Sometimes it's awesome.

Sometimes it could kill you.

Sometimes it makes you scream.

Sometimes it makes you smile.

Sometimes it makes you cry.

But ALL the time

 it makes us

proud!

So, on to the story of the would-be lynching,

beginning (and ending) with ...

your average Friday in Grantsville

8:00 a.m.

Jersey's are worn to school.
Flags are hung.
Pep Assemblies are roaring!

5:00 p.m.

Opponents arrive.
Fan Fest begins.
Team Talks ensue.
Bands fire up!

7:00 p.m.

Teams explode.
Flips are won.
Balls are kicked.
Crowds go crazy.

WHOA! WHOA!

Sloooooooooooow  down!

Some fans are missing.
Some fans are in Iowa.
Some fans are not here.

Thus, say HELLO...

 to FACEBOOK!

Say HELLO...

 to Krista's Facebook play by play.

Say HELLO...

to Krista's Friday Following!

and then...

say HELLO

to Andrew Nelson

or say something else to him

(as many did).

Andy is AT the game.

Andy gets Krista's updates on

his phone!

Andy is jeering

the play by play-er.

Andy is telling her to

stop with the play by play.

(by saying so on FACEBOOK)

And last Friday? ...

Let's just say Andy was almost lynched

by the Facebook

"Play by Play Following".

You don't mess with Cowboy Football.

Not even if you're, Andy

Not even if you're kidding.

GO COWBOYS!

Funeral Faux Pas

If you read

"Cookie's NOT Included"

last August

then you know about the day

Grandma Carrie
passed away.

When I wrote that entry, I also wrote another one

but it just seemed too irreverent to post.

However, today is my Grandma's birthday.

Today feels like the right day to post it.

Because I know today she's happy.

Today I think she'd laugh.

Taken from the "Hidden Arsenal"
Originally written:  August 9, 2010

There are moments

in this life when you just

CRY.

We've have those

moments

this past week.

Like when I saw

this man...

He was a constant

when I was little

and I loved him.

But since I've grown up

he floats in and out.

I cried when he floated in yesterday.

I cried today when he floated out.

I fear I won't see him again after today.

I hope I am wrong.

I love him.

I've cried a few

other times too.

-------------------------

My mom has cried

A LOT

She deserves to.

But she'll be okay.

We'll all be okay

because we

LAUGH

just as well as we

cry

In fact,

we laugh

even when we

shouldn't like at...

funerals!

Exhibit A:

Can ya flip the tape over?

Dill had the honor of recording the services.  I shook my head ... big responsibility for my "light hearted" boy!  Grandpa assured me the bishop had taught him how to use the TAPE recorder.

Imagine my concern when he disappeared from his seat half way through the service.  I knew he was trying to flip the tape over ... but how long could it take?  5 mins... 10 mins... 15 mins... Dill?  Dill?  Dillon?  Eventually, his head popped up and he was back in his seat.

While eating lunch we inquired as to what the trouble had been.

Trouble?  No trouble.

He just decided as long as he was on the floor flipping the tape, he'd lay down for a rest.  Did I mention he was ON THE STAND?


Exhibit B:

Do you know our family tree?

Uncle Jimmy Dean.  Oh you know him?
Then you're already shaking your head, preparing for laughter.
First let me explain the family tree...

Grandpa Palmer married Grandma Carrie

They divorced

Grandpa Palmer married Grandma Doris

Grandma Carrie married Grandpa Jack

Grandpa Palmer died.

Grandma Doris married Grandpa Harry.

Okay ... Uncle Dean spoke at the funeral.  He lovingly spoke of Grandma Harry, meaning Grandpa Jack...

not a good mix-up but sufficient laughter!!

(and yes, Grandma Doris

and Grandpa Harry were there.)

Exhibit C:

We're not "huggy, kissy"...

Our dear Pres. Orgill was the concluding speaker.  He had grown up with my aunts and uncles.  Uncle Jimmy Dean was his partner in crime and Aunt Brenda was his girlfriend.

To make a long story short,

I'll just go ahead and quote Pres. Orgill now:

"The talks have been beautiful but I feel the need

to correct Jimmy Dean.  He said you were not a
huggy, kissy bunch... well obviously he never dated Brenda!!"

OH-MY-LANTA!!  I'm falling out of my chair again just thinking about it again.  Then look at the above picture I found, it's Brenda with her arm around Pres. Orgill's wife!  We love you Lois!

Exhibit D:

Can you say restraining order?

Many of you know we have a serious problem ... Tyson has a stalker, seriously.

She showed up at the viewing last night. Tyson bolted.  She searched endlessly for him and since she could not see him she decided to give it another try at the viewing this morning.  Tyson bolted.  She searched endlessly for him and since she could not see him she decided to stay for the funeral but her view was little blocked so what the heck, why not stay for ... the family luncheon.
I am soooo not even kidding!!


Exhibit E:

Krista has given birth.

Last but not least, let us backtrack to the morning Grandma passed.  Let me remind you that I RAN, literally, to my  mom's house...  I had on only a robe, no make-up, no hair combed ... just ran.  Well, one of my aunt's walked in and this is what I heard,

"Oh Krista!  You look like you've just given birth." 

Ummmm, okay. 

There are a lot of women in this family who've given birth recently but please take note... I AM NOT ONE OF THEM! 
Again, I am soooo not kidding.

---------------------------------------------------------------------

So you know the old saying...

Beware of

"Fashion Faux Pas"

Well when it comes to our family, beware of

Funeral Faux Pas

(If you don't want us attending your funeral, I totally understand!)

I Love You

Grandma

Happy Birthday!

... and Mom, hope your day is HAPPY! 

Grandma would want it that way.

It's Jummer Time!

Have you ever heard of

"Jimmer Time"

It is lovingly referred to as

the time when BYU's

star player

Jimmer fredette

is on the court.

Now, I've already made it clear that basketball is not my favorite sport but when Jimmer is involved... well, then it is.

I love Jimmer
because he's CALM.
He never seems rattled.
He never seems hurried.
He's just Jimmer.

One can't help but love him.

He kind of reminds me of someone named...

"Hummer"

By way of example, let me introduce you to

"Hummer Time"

This morning.

School starts at 8:00.

Hummer arises at 7:50.

Mom is panicked.

Hummer is CALM.

Then "Hummer Time" ensues...

He showers ... CALM.

He dresses ... CALM.

He brushes ... CALM.

He was never

RATTLED or HURRIED

He was late but he smiled

and kissed me goodbye.

One can't help but love him.

That pretty much sums up

"Hummer Time" 

It's very similar to

"Jimmer Time"

So I guess, in reality, it's simply...

"Jummer Time"

Can you see the similarities?

I think we could all stand to use a little more

"Jummer Time"

especially these 3

crazed faces,

whom you can refer to as

"Jristy Time"

(You know, Jeff-Krista-Ty ... LOL!)

or in plainer terms, simply... 

HIGH STRUNG

            

 

Today, I think I'll treat

myself to a little

"Jummer Time"

Care to join me?

(Which, by the way, includes

eating cereal right out the box and leaving your clothes on the floor.)

My Four Walls

***On a side-note before I begin...

Yesterday's post was something I felt driven to write.

Then last night I was upset I had posted it.

Why?  I couldn't pinpoint.

I almost deleted it.

Then this morning I had a comment from Anonymous.

It was then I realized "Old Scratch" wanted it deleted.

THANKS Anonymous and all of you who commented!

It's been a good lesson learned, mostly about my pride.

Love you all!!

---------------------------------------------------------

Okay, moving on...

I have lots of walls in this place I call

HOME

I like it here and I like my walls

because they hold my...

My favorite 4 walls
are in my

BEDROOM

not because of the way they look
but because I share the room
with a very handsome fellow
who lets me put my cold feet on him
at night.

Next would be the walls in our
FAMILY Room
for obvious reasons...
our family.

After that, would be the walls in our
KITCHEN
because well,
it's connected to the
Family Room...
thus the family thing again.

Then the walls in our
FRONT Room
because that's where I go when I need to think, ponder
and find answers.

And the walls in our

ENTRY 

because when I go there

it means someone is

coming to see us.

Of course the walls in

TYSON'S Room

I go in there when

I miss him,

which is alot.

And the walls in the

BATHROOM

well because, seriously,

those walls are a

necessity.

And the walls in our Master

BATHROOM

none of which,

contain a door

(Drives Grandpa Hutch crazy!)

We also have walls in our

HALLWAY

where our

children stare at us

and George Washington

reminds us to pray.

We have lots of

walls

probably a few more than

four.

We love all of them.

All except for the one that is...

The BANE of my EXISTENCE !!

It's the only room with absolutely nothing on the walls.

It's Hummer's Room

and in case you were wondering, Hummer is

not happy

about it and quite frankly,

neither am I.

But in my defense,

it was decorated UNTIL he demanded the removal

of the futon couch/bunkbed.

But in Dillon's defense,

the bed was a little hard.

Now, for the last few weeks I've been preaching...

But enough already!!!

Life has got to step aside

so we can execute our plan!

A blueprint of

the wall

has been drawn up.

(Is that normal?)

This handy fellow has patched the wall...

(Because it used to be decorated ... really!)

The handy fellow PROMISED

to paint this weekend...

and he's not a liar!

Note that the blueprint is going to

take some time to execute

but, don't fret, I'm on it!

So we're putting LIFE on hold until it's done

because, well...

Hummer deserves it!