You can't afford me.

I would feel

all powerful

if I said...

But, that wouldn't be very nice

and it would be a lie because in reality,
"afford" has nothing to do with life.

It's all about the hunt for the biggest and best ...

I've been called lots of

names in my day.

CHEAP

FRUGAL

THRIFTY

RIDCULOUS

But, at the end of the day,
I really prefer to be called...

However, this name

ONLY gets thrown out

by the person who got the

$100 Christmas gift

for the $20 limit!

I like those days.

Most other days I just get called

one of those other names ... Yup, I'm picked on.

Even my own mother has often told me to ... 

Today I was thinking maybe "getting real" wasn't a bad idea.

I found myself in
Tooele searching for

clearance
cupcake wrappers.

You know...
 the CUTE ones!

The quest cost me

3 hours,

 wind blown hair

and all I came home with was

$.25 napkins and  $.50 candy

but both were 75% off!

The Lifeguard mostly LOVES

my frugal practices but

when I have days like today,

he doesn't like it so much.

When he hears today's story,
he will say... 

Honey,
did you really
save any money

after you
figure in the gas?

Maybe not, but most days the gas matters not.

Like the day I found $400 bats for the boys.

Yeah, no one was asking about gas that day!

I won't tell you what
I paid.

No need for you
to faint
at your computer.

Now... don't let the Lifeguard fool you.

He's no stranger to a good deal.

Well more accurately ... he WON'T be ripped off!

There's a story behind this log

and it's just a warning...

the Lifeguard's capable 

of filling fireplaces full of soot

if you cross him!

So say what you want about me.

Call me names if you must.

I will NEVER change who I am!

And seriously, is there anyone who doesn't love a great ...

SERIOUSLY?!